How To Deal With Stress Effectively

I thought I'd write a few words on how to deal with stress effectively. Stress comes and goes for most people but for some of us, it tends to linger and cause more drama than it's worth. If held on onto for long enough it can create mental health issues and even worse, so it's a good idea to have a few tools at your disposal to deal with it when it rears its ugly head. The reason we get stressed is usually that we're quite addicted to being in control. We tell ourselves a story about how this or that should be and then we get frustrated when we can't get our own way. As mature adults, we should have gained the capability of navigating stressful situations quite calmly but unfortunately, many of us were never given tools. How to deal with stress effectively is here to help. I…

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Inoffensive Ways to say ‘No’ Without Lying or Sacrificing Your Integrity

Here's a (hopefully ever-expanding) list of inoffensive ways to say 'NO' without lying or losing your integrity. Because too many of us get caught up doing stuff we don't want to do or even things that are detrimental to us, simply because we don't know how to say No, we don't want to upset others, we don't want to seem lazy or incompetent or we don't want to miss out. Trust me. none of these carry any weight. If you learn these inoffensive ways to say no, you might never be caught out again. NoThis is a complete sentence and the more people assert their No, the more widely it will be accepted as such. No explanations just No. I think I'll pass.Thanks but no thanks.Simple yet effective. I need to rest.Needing a rest is a perfectly acceptable reason to opt-out of something. I'm gonna have to say No to…

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The Beauty Of Vulnerability.

Do you recognise the beauty of vulnerability? I bet you don't. Most of us see only weakness in our vulnerabilities. We were raised to conceal them. We were told things like wipe your eyes, don't cry, don't be a baby or be a big boy when we were hurt. But you know what? That was so limiting. We deserved better than that, we should've been taught how to release our pain and emotions not to hide away like we don't all have weaknesses and vulnerability. It is truly beautiful to get to a place where we can be so authentic that we can let our vulnerabilities shine through. It shouldn't have to be but stepping into your vulnerability is courageous. Nobody's perfect and recognising the beauty of vulnerability will help you to accept that. It's liberating to admit our inefficiencies and bring them out into the open. It can help…

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The many Names and Faces of Fear.

Fear doesn't always just look or sound like 'oh no I'm not doing that I'm scared'. It can show itself in many ways. So here we begin to explore the ways we can uncover when we might actually be feeling fearful even if we recognise it as something else. Procrastination/ distraction/ /busywork: Wanna know why you're never getting onto that most important life-changing task? This is a big one. We are afraid of the outcome of the task. Will it be good enough? Will I be mocked or will you be humiliated? It'll probably all work out totally fine and if not you can probably handle it. But guess what you gotta take the leap and actually do it to find out. Self-criticism: You criticise yourself because others have and you're afraid they're right. You respect their point of view more than you respect your own. Accumulation: Fear of there…

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Are You People Pleasing Yourself Out Of A Life?

So you know that thing you said yes to earlier this week or perhaps even today? That you actually really don't want to do? That thing that's going to overstretch you, eat into your downtime or perhaps you even cancelled your own plans for? Yea that!! This message is for the people that find themselves regretting their yeses more often than not and resenting themselves and others as a result. Sorry, you can't blame others for taking advantage of you, this is on you. Your boundaries are lax. You give away your power every time you say yes when you want to say no. We've all done it on occasion. (I'm totally guilty). Some more than others, unfortunately, You guys seriously need some boundaries. I mean I get it you want to be helpful and you want to see the smile on peoples faces. to spread a little joy and…

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How To Do The Hard Things.

So who needs a pep talk about their avoidance of the things that will make the most difference in their lives? I think we could all do with a little push in the right direction every now and then. I often find myself trapped and procrastination over the very thing I know will make the most difference in my life right now. Why? Because I'm so filled and driven by fear sometimes. It's good to be reminded to be mindful of our destructive habits and redirected by someone whose been able to tap into flow relatively recently. So here it is. once I started to write this post after putting off my writing for so long it just seemed to flow out like I'm totally always connected to the power. (trust me I'm not) Sometimes you have to sit in discomfort for a little while to tap into it but…

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The Pit Of Despair

She tried to do normal, but it was hard. It stung, it itched, it irritated the very crevices of her soul. She didn't fit in, she had no qualms admitting that. She was lost, miserable, drowning in self pity. Everything about the mundanity of everyday life overwhelmed her. She was done bending over backwards to meet the needs of others. Her back was broken. She didn't know what to do to escape the pain. She longed for a familiarity she had only ever found in one place. She had tried to find it elsewhere but never could. She didn't really want to, but she didn't feel like she had much of a choice, She quietly climbed back into her pit of despair. It was where she felt safe. It was cold and damp and lonely and quite a few sizes too small. In fact it choked her a little but…

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A Letter To Overwhelm

Dear overwhelm, I know I get stressed sometimes when you're here. But I've been doing some inner work and now I totally understand why you keep showing up, I've realized it's time for me to listen because you have come to teach me valuable lessons about myself and this life. I am ready. Here's what I've learned from you lately I need to walk before I can run. It' ok to take baby steps to build up momentum on a new task, relationship or challenge. Stop taking such big bites out of life. I am not going to miss out. I can take smaller bites and what is truly for me will still be waiting for me to embrace on the other side. You've come to teach me the art of delegation and that if something needs to get done that badly it will. I don't have to take on…

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Is your life consumed by darkness?

The world can be a pretty bleak place if we wander around consumed by the daily grind. Perhaps we don't even realize that we have any control over our direction or circumstances. It's easy to lose ourselves in the mists of monotony. If you could choose to live in darkness or light which would you choose? You do have the choice. Have you ever considered who or what drains your power and keeps you from your true work? What even is your true work? I mean seriously we wake up every day and do what we're 'supposed' to do, as prescribed by the societal idea of Normality. We struggle and strive to meet other peoples expectations, we bend over backward to please everyone but ourselves. We tiptoe around people and their emotions so as not to touch or trigger their thorns. We get consumed by the bad news and negativity,…

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Your Disempowering Stories Are Keeping You Stuck

How we hold ourself back from stepping into our power: Disempowering beliefs and Negative storytelling I know why you're stuck, frustrated and unhappy... Well, obviously I don't know every reason, but I can tell you a few and here's one. You don't believe in yourself or your abilities. Your internal record player is broken. It's playing you negative stories on loop. They're not true and I'm here to help you break free.You've been hurt before, you've failed and been failed. Now you've resigned yourself to the 'fact' that your unable and unworthy of your hopes, dreams and goals. Nothing could be further from the truth. You rock and you deserve the best life has to offer. I know this cos I've been there. I know what it feels like to feel stuck, disempowered and worthless. I also know that when I was there I wasn't worth any less than I…

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